心情故事

也许换了一个environment是错误的，但我就是这样。读了心理学，自己有avoidant personality disorder,太在意别人的想法，需要人认可，认为自己的一切 都比不上别人。。

但是心里却是寂寞的啊。我不擅长表达，不懂交际，总认为每一个人看不起我，背地里批评我。真的。。每一个人。。。

我害怕被拒绝，被看不起。。

明知这是我的舞台，不该让人主宰我的世界，但我无法控制。

总觉得这症状越来越严重。。

好多时候。。。 我也渴望。

渴望爱情。

我何尝不想快点遇到心目的白马王子。。但又有时想，以我这样的个性，会不会就这样孤独过下去。。。

风弄作品更新 july 2011

都是 风弄 的 作品·， 感觉 好像好久没读了。来update下吧！
最后阅读的
凤于九天 27部 第九章
好像蛮难找的，到米·度· 注册吧，听说是 上传 最快的。
http://ww2.uei-shiang.com/Net/Mem/MemNew.aspx
http://mebook.comic-go.com/viewer_works_content.aspx?id=136
但是，到目前为止，还是停在这里，没有更新。。哭。。


惩罚军服系列也完结了。

金玉王朝

也到第三部了。V！！！


顺便提一下，liulige被人举报，关闭了。火大！！！哪个小鬼被我 知道我不放过！！论坛换名唤地址了，暂时我 不记得新地址，钻到派派小说网下载小说了。可能比较好点吧，下载不必论坛币，有快车 flashget可以免费下载。建议大家一起来吧。

派派小说网

All my favourite BL novels/recommendations part 7

192. 《屈辱》

主角：罗岩、袁日
8年前因为袁日强暴罗岩 未遂，反而被罗岩打中脑门留下伤疤，一直惦记着这点滴袁日在8年后成为黑帮老大，并且用卑鄙滴手段威胁身为警察滴罗岩……
在尝过了罗岩滴身体之后 并无打算放弃他滴袁日，把罗岩一直带在身边调教……
结局也算HE了吧，袁日入狱，罗岩恢复警察滴身份……
《屈辱》第二部《誓不罢休》

My rating: ☆☆☆☆

193。 一叶飘零

类别：虐身虐心，霸道蛮力攻，逃离受，BE？

小受的姐姐背叛了渣攻，叶儿（小受）是自十六被家人卖到攻家顶替姐姐，在攻身边长达七年多，攻对受是拳脚殴打，强上，QJ，禁止上学，到最后还将他送给好友伴睡，受终于对攻心灰意冷，带着姐姐的孩子逃离攻。攻不肯，对受追逐，更多殴打，受差点残废。。。

My rating: ☆☆☆

194。云归红尘

类别：民国，BE，受错怪攻，

195

但为君故

楚君笑是名捕快。

　　柳县是个极小的县城，然而可能是由于地处大江下游港口附近，常有沿水路逃跑的贼盗逃到县上来。因此县城虽小，五毒俱全，如果有人说南街头卖豆腐脑儿的赵老儿就是朝廷贴了五年皇榜出银三千的江洋大盗周一刀，你的第一反应应该是去县衙通报，而不是想怎么可能今天早上吃豆腐脑儿的时候还看到他被李屠夫打了一拳不敢还手呢——当然那个李屠夫也很可能是采花贼李飞花就是了。

　　楚君笑的任务，就是每天在街上寻找貌似通缉犯的人，在确定之后将他们逮捕归案。常有人说，若他不是捕快，拿到的赏金足够他吃上十辈子了。

My rating: ☆☆☆

196。《宫森》

祝融见到宫森的时候，宫森被绑在东海的岩石上。

巨浪打在岩石上，掀起一张来高的巨浪，巨浪退后，露出岩石上被困的人影。一个绝美的少年被十字形绑在岩石上，双目紧闭，苍白的脸没有一丝血色。又一个巨浪袭来，重重撞击在岩石上，完全淹没了少年。祝融轻轻靠上前，灵圈自动地将海水推拒到几丈之外，少年又得以从水中挣脱。九儿惊讶地睁大了眼睛，

什么人这么残忍？

少年雪白的身上伤痕累累，腰间围着破烂不堪的布片。四肢被用铁链钉在岩石上，浪来时全身被淹没，浪退时才得以喘息，咸咸的海水浇在伤口上，又马上因太阳酷晒而干涸。祝融轻轻触碰少年的脸，少年呻吟了一声，长长的睫毛微微颤动。

像往常一样，宫森无助而安静地躺在床上，没有了梦魇，他的神色安详里带着一些温柔。

前部虐心虐身，后部轻松现代，两人逃到人间。。。

My rating: ☆☆☆☆

197.

《圈里圈外》

类别：校园，现代，社会，直掰歪，心灰意忍受

纪莫其实并不寂寞，他在圈子里春风一度的对象可以参加全城马拉松。

他走回自己租来的那个破旧的小公寓，昏黄的走廊灯下，他看见一个蜷缩着的人影。

他呼吸一窒，那个人看见他，站直了身子，那一瞬间，纪莫以为自己会昏死过去。

然而他没有，他依然挺直了脊梁静静地看着那个决然从他生命里全身而退的男人。

人 若永远停留在过去，如何成长。

三年了，他终于回来，还象往常一样地笑着看他：“纪莫，我回来了。”

－－回来了，又能如何．

他与他永远是圈里圈外，没有走到一起的可能．．．

很好看！！ 看完了才知道这是楚云暮的书，的确好！！

My rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

198.

《似是古人来》

类别：穿越，温馨，校园，3P

内容简介：

主角：谢子宇（穆离）、顾皓伦

明朝将军（武功高手）穿越到现代校园

这篇与《瞻彼日月》用一个楔子，不用说当然是同一个系列里的。

不过这篇是现代文，而且由於概念是平行时空，

所以这是一篇历史没有丝毫改变的现代文。

小受的的前世是明朝的将军，性格坚韧又不乏灵活性，

最重要的是他还记得那些武功，穿到了现代后，

身体虽然换了，但功夫还是超厉害的。

My rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

199.

《瞻彼日月》

风很大，天空乌黑一片，云层累积得厚厚几层，完全遮住了光。

　　T大教学楼主楼向来以自杀频率出名，据说每年都有定额，如果今年的用完了，那对不起您那，明年请早。

　　在一片昏黑中，有人爬上主楼最高层，打开窗户。

【作者】寒衣

《似是古来人》是描述古代人穿越到现代，这文和上一篇有关联，但有可分开看，这俩个文都是不同风格的，如果上一篇是用温馨来带过，小受也在很早最和攻在一起了，这一篇则是别扭狠心小受，但到最后还是喜欢上攻。

My rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

Korean Drama: 49天 （49 days）

Sypnosis:

Shin Ji Hyun was enjoying absolute bliss as she was about to marry her fiancé, Kang Min Ho, but her perfect life is shattered when she gets into a car accident that leaves her in a coma. She is given a second chance at life by a reaper, but it comes with a condition: she has to find three people outside of her family who would cry genuine tears for her. In order to do this, she borrows the body of Yi Kyung, a part-time employee at a convenience store for 49 days.

My review:

Just finished watching this drama. I have been following up with this drama since its first airing episode on pps. I was deeply intrigued by the story plot. In fact, this is like the one of the very few korean dramas that I had watched. The story contained thriller, supernatural, romance, life, betrayal, friendships, and twist of plots.

Shin Ji Hyun lived the 49 days only to find out about the betrayal of her best friend and fiance, and their plan to take over her father's company. She possess Yi Kyung body and lived as Yi Kyung in daytime, lived her life around her fiance and best friend to find out the proof of evidence, and Han Kang, a male friend of hers who she thought he hated her but actually has loved her since young. Gradually, Han Kang realized it was Shin Ji Hyun who lived inside the body, but after knowing that she could not tell her identity, they pretended like everything is normal as both are clear about what's happening.

And the drama continued...

There are a lot of shocking moments.

As towards the end, especially the last two episode,s i found myself dropping tears non stop as i watched. You feel for the characters.

And the ending was shockingly surprising..

Spoiler:

After gaining the three drops of tears, waking up to see the family and lover after 49 days journey, Shin JiHyung lived one more week only to die again. Yi Siew, Yi Kyung's lover, came back to her only to say goodbye and wished her happiness after five years of waiting. In the end, we found out one more truth, about the connection of yi Kyung and ShinJi Hyung, long-lost sisters. It was probably the only happy thing about the ending part.

We could have wanted the plot for Shin ji Hyung to live happily ever after with Han Kang, and she reunited with yi Kyung sister with the family. That's what all the audiences wanted to see. But in truth is, nothing is perfect in real life. The ending like this on the opposite side, even if left regrets in me, made me think a lot. And i do not feel like 'oh, it's another happy ending, good for them.' cry cry, then throw it away; because it's a fairytale, and things such dramatic like this will never happen in real life.

After going through the journey of 49 days, it makes you realize you should treasure everyday like you have treasured the days in 49 days.

That's the message that they are trying to convey...

All in all, it's still a good drama. I liked the plot, 5 stars (take out one star for the ending), the characters too. Worth to watch.

Kichiku Megane BL game

Kichiku Megane

鬼畜眼鏡

I first came across with this game through reading its

manga, based on Midou x Megane Katsuya.

A Synopsis of the game:

Katsuya Saeki, is a submissive type of white-collar worker, timid to voice and stand for himself, and was always working behind the shadow. Through a mysterious man-in-black, named Mr. R, he was gifted with a pair of special glasses that changed his life forever.

When he put on the glasses, he will change into this sadistic overwhelmingly confidence Katsuya who neither care about what others think and practically forced sexes (rape!) people!

So this is the interesting part of the game, you're able to play as both seme and uke through the main character. AND if you thought that 'eww! how can I picture a uke to be a seme?! totally out-of-character!" , DISCARD THAT THOUGHT NOW! Because this is the game that will change your mind,

and you'll know, self-cest is the best! :D

Characters:

1. Katsuya Saeki CV by Daisuke Hirakawa

Without megane, he's the complete submissive type of uke. He made good slutting voice in bed, and good training for a uke. :D Some might not find him pleasing because of his attitude but I don't. Here are the couples that can be played.

Midou x Katsuya

It's hard to picture this couple if one has read the manga version of this, but once I started onto this couple, I found it interesting and suits my taste. Storyline goes like this, Katsuya put on the megane in order to obtain the sale rights from Midou which he succeeded, but after they reached the required target sales set by Midou, Katsuya decided not to wear it because he could sense that Midou was not happy and made things difficult for their department because of what the megane side of him did last time. The target sales was increased ridiculously by Midou, Katsuya, having no choice had to obey what Midou said in order for him to withdraw that sale target, which is to 'service' him. And then the play, smex, rape beginsss...

For this couple, scene I enjoyed the most is probably the one on the bed, where he got f***ed first time by Midou. It's starting from that scene and onwards that I see the love grow

ing from inside of Midou towards Katsuya, even though he didn't say it. :D

Katsuya megane x Midou

Well, if you chose for Katsuya to wear the specs all the time, this storyline will change to megane Katsuya version. :D And in here, Midou is the superior uke who was played, tamed and raped by Katsuya megane. This happened because Katsuya wanted to 'tear off his mask' and made his arrogant side disappear, and to make him have nowhere to go except his side. After doing all those stuff, and he succeeded in strippin

g off the arrogant of Midou, he even take over his job with unscrupulous methods. When he finally realized the love he held for Midou, he stopped everything and let him go. Few years later, they met again...

The story can practically be read from manga. :D but it's more detailed if

you played the PC version. Katsuya megane is really a sadistic, and Midou is a strong uke who resisted everything he did, with failure. Despite that, they still fall in love at the end.

Honda x Katsuya

Katsuya and Honda were friends since high school, they played basketball? together. Even back then, Honda were already secretly admiring Katsuya. Katsuya felt himself inferior when standing next to Honda because of their completely different personality and that Honda was more charming and successful than he is. They started growing closer after the project, when Katsuya started behaving strangely due to the megane version with a contraindicated personality and even attempted to rape him in his house, Honda worried, kept on asking about what happened. And it all burst out when Katsuya was spotted talking to mysterious man, Mr. R one night. Katsuya complained and vented out his disappointment and anger to Honda, making Honda realized that he has to confess, which he did one evening. Things started changing between them after that.

What I liked about this couple is not the smex, but the storyline. It touched me and I really spend the time reading through the lines.

Megane Katsuya x Honda

kinda lazy to write this couple's story...

I don't really like this couple, even though it's unexpected that Honda's voice as a uke is pretty amazing and horny. :D bt the idea of him being the uke with that body size of his is still ... strange. there are lots of times when Honda begged for Katsuya to be the seme, but he always ended up to be the one being fucked.

Megane Katsuya x Katagiri

Hmm.. Katagiri is the superior to Katsuya in his department. Katagiri belonged to elder aged group uke. He's gentle, cared about house, and always maintain the same smiling face with everyone. Katsuya probably bored with it, and wanted to see soemthing more, molested and played him.

Katagiri is okay to me as a uke. This couple also did not inspire me much. but it was still not bad in general.

Megane Katsuya x Aki

Aki is another total uke. he's the type who has a girly personality. He likes to stick around Katsuya, (indeed, he has that intention and blurted out his love for Katsuya from the start). But Katsuya didn't have the intention of loving him as a lover, but as a pet.

This story got a lot of training session. :D

Taichi x Katsuya

Taichi is a high school student who works as a waiter in restaurant which Katsuya passed through every morning when he went to work. he admired Katsuya secretly as well. One day, megane Katsuya raped/played him in the restaurant, for which the reason I had forgotten.

Towards the end, we found out that Taichi is more than just high school student. He's the heir to a yakuza family!

And there's a sadist side within him. :d

There are also lots of bad ending, where the character killed megane Katsuya out of hatred, left out of disappointment, etc.

And also alternative ending with Mr. R, brought to the club R, ending up being raped by other gangs, there's extra scenes with 3P, n even ...

Nosebleed!

I liked the game. Love the opening. I listened to it while driving my car mostly everyday. The game itself does not contained self-cest, but there is another version called Kichiku Megane R where it is a fan disc made, it's a continuation of the previous story, and there contained the self-cest scenes. What I liked about the game is that the plot is not meaningless, the story progress good, it doesn't jump from one scene to one scene, which leaves you ideas of 'why is it so sudden?' or boring taste which was filled with all conversations. It's setted in a modern office setting, which suits my taste as well, as I preferred story similar to real life setting rather than a fantasy. And the most amazing thing is the CV! :D I loved mostly all their voices. :)

To download the game, read this page

Windows break down

Technically, infected by malware. Something called windows vista antivirus 2011. DO NOT TRUST THIS PROGRAMME.

Few days ago, I noticed my computer started lagging behind but I blamed it on my memory ram. Then, later, there was something popped up from the windows when I was surfing the net, claiming that there are 25 infections on my computer and I need to buy the programme i.e., Antivirus Window Vista 2011, to clean it. I was scared because it sounds so true, so real, and some more it's from window itself, but my nod321 did not scan out any viruses from my computer. Then, it blocked me from going online.

How frustrating I was, then, I get myself spyware doctor, and went through the steps taught in the website. It works for a day, then, my computer started going crazy. The next day I started up, I couldnt' find my nod321, I lost chrome, mozilla, msn, skype, pps, microsoft, and even the control panel was not within my control. I have no choice but to reformat everything.

And now, I'm updating, and reinstalling everything, as I could. And my new version of computer desktop.... *rolls drum* TADA!

Dun feel like going back to vista as well after this, it's like a PTSD. :D windows 7 should be better. I hope.

Hanakage BL game

花陰－堕ちた蜜華

花阴－浮世风华－

This game is a sequel to Hanamachi.

Official Website: Go Here

Seven years after~

Iori, the son from a prestige Samurai family strayed to become a prostitute in Hanabishi after his father commit suicide and the family business broke down. With his pride and ego, he acts stubborn against his customer, even refusing to serve them. Yet, he was in Hanabishi because he wants to protect his mother from going through hardship, and resulted in him alone carry up the responsibility to take care of the family finance. But the truth is more than that.

As for the characters introduction, it might be better if you can open this video and watch yourself. :)

My personal view is that Hanakage's art has become more beautiful than Hanamachi. Even though the character, Iori (and others) doesn't move their lips like Shuuri does in Hanamachi, the art is still beautiful to cover up for the defect. Another thing is that, most of the time, you will be reminded of similar character in this game from Hanamachi, provided that you have played hanamachi beforehand. Shuuri and seme,

東條巽 still appeared in Hanakage, but appeared seven years older. :D

Enough of cons, now for the pros/weighing for those who are deciding which one is interesting/good to play. Here are the things that you need to think of.

Uke vs

Hanamachi uke, Shuuri is a innocent, sweet uke. His appearance is just ... innocent.

Hanakage uke, Iori, is a strong-willed, stubborn uke, if you know Akihito from Finder, that's how I'd categorize him too.

I don't know how others view Shuuri as, But personally, when I first started played hanakage, I fall in love with Iori due to his strong personalized character. It is a plus point for someone who loved strong willed uke like me. However, Shuuri has matured into a beautiful and much more composed well-known prostitute after seven years in Hanakage, which is good enough for me.

Main seme vs

東條巽, is BDSM preferred?, cold-hearted but has a soft yasashii heart that is seldom shown.

桐島冬吾 is also cold hearted but is a very 专一 person, who shows only love to the main uke. In short, every cruel decision that he made is because he loved Iori, no matter how twisted the result might be.

Semes numbers vs

Hanamachi has six semes, all with HE and BE choices.

Hanakage has four main semes, Plus one seme with confirmed BE, and Plus one unexpected minor seme.

Music and BG music vs

Well, Op for Hanakage, as seen from the video is pretty good. There's a slight sad melody when you listened to it, and it's not bad for an opening. compared to Hanamachi OP, that has only rhythm.

Plot vs

Some said that Hanamachi plot is not very good. I do not know as I did not complete all the characters' line. But from what I searched, it's said that they have found a BL plot writer for Hanakage to write a proper storyline for it. I think it's good. Though some of the endings are kinda sudden.

Obviously, I biased towards Hanakage. haha.

The pairing I loved the most is Iori and Toudoro.

Game download in chinese version

here

Game download in Japanese version

here

Game walkthrough guide

here

(In chinese)

Hanakage Drama CD

here