friend or never??

how's it feel when one day.. u realize things are not as easy as u think?

i thought we will be friends, best friends and nothing will change us. nothing!. but then.. why why why?
i thought we will be normal again, but then.. why why why nothing ever changed? instead it become worse.
i had slowly learnt to accept. that i never had her as my best friend. all those memories that i had with her is past. it' will not be back.. i wish i had never done all those stupid things. i wish she is not so complicated so unpredictable.. may be that had been one of the reasons why i like her to be my frien in the past.. but sometime.. take for example for now. it's scary. and i really had no idea how i should break down the ice again.. may be i can never break it if she continues to be like this.
now.. it's like so hard to talk with her.. i felt a stone, cold wall between us.. so far.. even though she's rite beside me... how can we be back to normal again?

get used..

i'm starting to escape..
escape the smile,
escape the feelings,
escape everything..
and i worried,
the more i escape,
the more i will get used to it.