friend or never??

how's it feel when one day.. u realize things are not as easy as u think?

i thought we will be friends, best friends and nothing will change us. nothing!. but then.. why why why?
i thought we will be normal again, but then.. why why why nothing ever changed? instead it become worse.
i had slowly learnt to accept. that i never had her as my best friend. all those memories that i had with her is past. it' will not be back.. i wish i had never done all those stupid things. i wish she is not so complicated so unpredictable.. may be that had been one of the reasons why i like her to be my frien in the past.. but sometime.. take for example for now. it's scary. and i really had no idea how i should break down the ice again.. may be i can never break it if she continues to be like this.
now.. it's like so hard to talk with her.. i felt a stone, cold wall between us.. so far.. even though she's rite beside me... how can we be back to normal again?